Screenplay Edit: “Gravity”

A line-by-line edit of a scene from the script.

Screenshot by the author; © 2013 by Warner Bros.

Original Text

MATT
Man down! Man down!
Matt PROPELS himself toward Shariff, who is floating away from the Shuttle unconscious.MATT (CONT’D)
(to Ryan)
Disengage!!!
AN IMPACT.A piece of debris pierces through the right wing of the Space Shuttle, creating a five-foot hole.THE SPACE SHUTTLE ROLLS.The arm, with Ryan attached to it, rolls with the Shuttle.MATT (CONT’D)
Explorer has been hit. Explorer do you read? Explorer, over. Explorer--
Another IMPACT.A piece of debris HITS the robotic arm like a cannon ball and DETACHES it from the Shuttle.The broken piece of the arm SPINS AWAY from the Explorer at a great speed with Ryan attached to it. She passes next to-THE HUBBLE as a big piece of debris hits the telescope. The top of the cylinder explodes into more debris, which is expelled in all directions, barely missing Ryan as she spins away attached to the arm.ON THE ARM-Ryan’s panic grows as she spins further into the nothingness of space.MATT (CONT’D)
Astronaut off structure! Dr. Stone is off structure!
With every spin, the shuttle, being punished by debris, diminishes into a tiny dot in the distance.MATT (CONT’D)
(on radio)
Dr. Stone, detach!
RYAN
Nooooo!
MATT
(on radio)
You must detach!
RYAN
No.
MATT
If you don’t detach that arm is going to carry you too far!
RYAN
(frozen)
I can’t!
MATT
(a brief beat, then)
Listen to my voice. You need to focus. I’m losing visual of you. In a few seconds I won’t be able to track you.
RYAN
(She pulls herself together)
Ok. Ok.
MATT
You need to detach. I can’t see you anymore.
The robotic arm keeps on spinning and stars orbit wildly in her field of vision.RYAN
I’m trying. I’m trying.
MATT
Do it. Now!
RYAN
Ok. I'm trying! I can't it's stuck, Hold on.
Ryan’s hands are trembling and she can’t get a grip on the hook.MATT
Houston, I’ve lost visual of Dr. Stone... Houston, I’ve lost visual of Dr. Stone.
As Matt’s VOICE is LOST to STATIC, Ryan squeezes the hook and is......gone, kicking herself AWAY from the robotic arm and FLYING FREE of the rotating arm. She catches a brief glimpse of the arm as it helicopters away, then loses sight of it as she rotates end over end in endless free fall.

Line Edit

MATTMan down! Man down!Matt PROPELS himself toward Shariff, who is floating away from the Shuttle unconscious.

Matt propels himself toward Shariff, who is floating away from the shuttle unconscious.

MATT (CONT’D)

MATT

(to Ryan)Disengage!!!

Disengage!

An impact.
A piece of debris pierces through the right wing of the shuttle, creating a five-foot hole.

A piece of debris pierces the right wing of the shuttle, creating a five-foot hole.

The shuttle rolls.

A piece of debris pierces the right wing of the shuttle, creating a five-foot hole and sending the shuttle into a roll.

The arm, with Ryan attached to it, rolls with the shuttle.

A piece of debris pierces the right wing of the shuttle, creating a five-foot hole and sending the shuttle — and Ryan — into a roll.

MATTExplorer has been hit.

Explorer has been hit.

Explorer do you read?

Explorer, do you read?

Explorer, over.Explorer--

Explorer

Another impact.
A piece of debris hits the robotic arm like a cannon ball and detaches it from the shuttle.The broken piece of the arm spins away from the Explorer at a great speed with Ryan attached to it.

The arm spins away with Ryan attached to it.

The arm spins away, with Ryan still attached to it.

She passes next to-The Hubble as a big piece of debris hits the telescope.

She passes next to the Hubble as a big piece of debris hits the telescope.

She passes next to the Hubble telescope as it is torn apart by debris.

The top of the cylinder explodes into more debris, which is expelled in all directions, barely missing Ryan as she spins away attached to the arm.

The telescope explodes into more debris, which is expelled in all directions, barely missing Ryan as she spins away attached to the arm.

The telescope explodes, expelling shrapnel in all directions, barely missing Ryan as she spins further into space.

ON THE ARM-Ryan’s panic grows as she spins further into the nothingness of space.
MATTAstronaut off structure!Dr. Stone is off structure!With every spin, the shuttle, being punished by debris, diminishes into a tiny dot in the distance.

RYAN’S POV: With every spin, the shuttle, being punished by debris, diminishes to a tiny dot in the distance.

MATT(on radio)
Dr. Stone, detach!RYANNooooo!

No!

MATTYou must detach!RYANNo.

No!

MATTIf you don’t detach that arm is going to carry you too far!

If you don’t detach, that arm is going to carry you too far!

RYAN(frozen)I can’t!MATT(a brief beat, then)

(beat)

Listen to my voice.You need to focus.I’m losing visual of you.In a few seconds I won’t be able to track you.

I’m losing visual of you; in a few seconds, I won’t be able to track you.

RYAN(She pulls herself together)
Ok. Ok.

Okay. Okay.

MATTYou need to detach. I can’t see you anymore.The robotic arm keeps on spinning and stars orbit wildly in her field of vision.

RYAN’S POV: Stars orbit wildly in her field of vision.

RYAN’S POV: Stars orbit wildly in her field of view.

RYANI’m trying. I’m trying.MATTDo it. Now!RYANOkay. I'm trying! I can't it's stuck, Hold on.

Okay. Im trying! I cant; its stuck. Hold on.

Ryan’s hands are trembling and she can’t get a grip on the hook.

Ryan’s hands are trembling, and she’s struggling to grip the hook.

Ryan’s hands are trembling, and she’s struggling to grip the hook on her harness.

MATTHouston, I’ve lost visual of Dr. Stone...

Houston, I’ve lost visual of Dr. Stone.

Houston, I’ve lost visual of Dr. Stone.As Matt’s voice is lost to static, Ryan squeezes the hook and is...

As Matt’s voice is lost to static, Ryan releases the hook and is...

...gone, kicking herself away from the robotic arm and flying free of the rotating arm.

As Matt’s voice is lost to static, Ryan releases the hook and is...gone, kicking herself away from the robotic arm.

She catches a brief glimpse of the arm as it helicopters away, then loses sight of it as she rotates end over end in endless free fall.

As Matt’s voice is lost to static, Ryan releases the hook and is…gone, kicking herself away from the robotic arm, tumbling away in endless free fall.

As Matt’s voice is lost to static, Ryan releases the hook, kicks away from the robotic arm, and is…gone, tumbling in endless free fall.

Edited Text

MATT
Man down! Man down!
Matt propels himself toward Shariff, who is floating away from the shuttle unconscious.MATT
(to Ryan)
Disengage!
A piece of debris pierces the right wing of the shuttle, creating a five-foot hole and sending the shuttle - and Ryan - into a roll.MATT
Explorer has been hit. Explorer, do you read? Explorer, over. Explorer -
A piece of debris hits the robotic arm like a cannon ball and detaches the arm from the shuttle. The arm spins away, with Ryan still attached to it.She passes the Hubble telescope as it is torn apart by debris. The telescope explodes, expelling shrapnel in all directions, barely missing Ryan as she spins further into space.MATT
Astronaut off structure! Dr. Stone is off structure!
RYAN’S POV: With every spin, the shuttle, being punished by debris, diminishes to a tiny dot in the distance.MATT
Dr. Stone, detach!
RYAN
No!
MATT
You must detach!
RYAN
No!
MATT
If you don’t detach, that arm is going to carry you too far!
RYAN
(frozen)
I can’t!
MATT
(beat)
Listen to my voice. You need to focus. I’m losing visual of you; in a few seconds, I won’t be able to track you.
RYAN
Okay. Okay.
MATT
You need to detach. I can’t see you anymore.
RYAN’S POV: Stars orbit wildly in her field of view.RYAN
I’m trying. I’m trying.
MATT
Do it. Now!
RYAN
Okay. Im trying! I cant; its stuck. Hold on.
Ryan’s hands are trembling, and she’s struggling to grip the hook on her harness.MATT
Houston, I’ve lost visual of Dr. Stone. Houston, I’ve lost visual of Dr. Stone.
As Matt’s voice is lost to static, Ryan releases the hook, kicks away from the robotic arm, and is...gone, tumbling in endless free fall.

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I write about writing and editing and also share occasional thoughts on things. mitchellferrin.com

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Mitchell Ferrin

I write about writing and editing and also share occasional thoughts on things. mitchellferrin.com